English1020classblog’s Weblog

It’s been a few years now, but a long time ago  i was watching one of those daytime talk shows (can’t remember which) and the topic was about men who dressed as women. These guys were normal guys, but had frilly dresses on. Like the kind you would see on a three year old girl, with the skirt going outwards like a to-too.  They weren’t guys who completely dressed up like a woman, with a wig and make-up, but just grown men wearing these almost square dancing like dresses with receding hair line and all. One of the most bizarre things i’d seen in a while. I just happened to be watching it with my boyfriend at the time. I kept saying over and over how ridiculous it was, and that i couldn’t believe some of them had wives who dealt with and tolerated it. He seemed so surprised that as liberal as i am, that i was so freaked out by it. He looked at me and asked me what i would do if he were to dress like that. I told him that as much as i love him i don’t think i could handle it. I might care a little bit about what other people would think, but more importantly i would honestly not be attracted to him at all if he were that way.

Am i a bad person? Why is it i’m o.k. with a man living and dressing like a women in any other circumstance? But when it comes to me accepting my man if he were like that, is it not okay? I know i know better, but i can’t help what i’m attracted to. By him bringing that up it made me question myself, and my insecurities. I really try and not judge people, and look down on people who are so prejudice. Does it make me a hypocrite?? Why can’t i be okay with the image of a grown balding man in a square dance dress? It’s not that i would be caddy towards anyone like that, but it doesn’t sit well with me.

SuAnn

 Since I was eight years old my mother has been a single mother. Because my father is complete dumb ass, he hasn’t really been in me and my sisters lives forcing my mother to play both the role of mother and father to us. Since we have been discussing gender and how at some moments the regular gender lines have been crossed I thought i could give my idea of what the ultimate gender line cross is in my mind.

Many single mothers including my own have taken on all the responsibilities that a child’s father should be doing. These responsibilities would include a whole lot of different thing like being the disciplinary that the man is suppose to be and playing sports and doing athletic things with the kids. But when the man is not in the child’s life a women must do these things in order to raise the child the way they should be. The women had to be the soft,loving, caring figure and the rough,extremely skillful figure all at the same time.

The thing that makes this so interesting to me is the fact that no considers this as something out of the ordinary. Single mothers are not frowned upon like perhaps a flamboyantlygay man or a butch lesbian would be. So this leaves me wondering where does the double standard fit in. Or why is there a double standard in the first place. A single mother does the job as both parents because that is what they are expected to do. If a single mother didn’t play the role of both parents then that is when they are are frowned upon. But why is this the case if they were doing what is expected of their gender?

Basically what this tells me is that gender is simply a social fad that most people follow but can be changed. I see nothing wrong with pushing the lines of gender because i feel you should define who you are not what people expect of you. True enough many people take this concept to the extreme at times but that will never go away. And sadly neither will gender roles.

—–Allianna Miller

I’ll start by saying that I am NOT putting any gender down in this article, Nor am I saying that EVERY member of a specific gender acts according to these examples, and that this article is for leisure and entertainment only.  There are subtle but clear difference between men and women that go beyond the style of their clothing, the colors they like, or the activities that they participate in.  In this writing, I’d like to point out some differences in the way men and women act. 

Lets start with an example dealing with grocery shopping and the refrigerator.  Its obvious that men like to eat everything in sight, more so than women do.  A woman likes to make a list of the things that she needs or wants, and then she will go to the store and pick these things up.  Men on the other hand, and don’t deny it, will eat everything in sight until all that is left in the fridge is an apple and some left over’s from three weeks ago.  Then he goes to the store. 

Here’s another thing, a man has on average about 8 items in his bathroom.  Women… well I think you know where this is going.

When women named Stephanie, Angela, Kristen, and Heather go out in public to get a bite to eat, or to go shopping, they refer to each other as Stephanie, Angela, Kristen, and Heather.  When men go out they refer to each other as fat ass, ding dong, stupid, or numb-skull. 

If you haven’t quite agreed with everything I have been talking about, that is okay because this one is true no matter who tries to refute it.   Lets take a baseball game for example.  Two guys get to a baseball game and they announce, or even demand exactly what they want as soon as possible.  “I want a hot dog and a beer.”  If their buddy wants something different, they split up and meet at their seats before the game starts.  They then make a game show out of who knows more stats about the current season.   If a man brings a woman however, the exact same situation is completely different.  All of a sudden it’s “can I get you anything to eat during the game?”  The man gets the door for the woman, they find their seats together, and he even goes the extra mile to explain certain points of the game to her.

Thanks for reading,

Nick Balow 

We’re told living in this country of so called Freedom and “Equality” that all men and women are to be treated equal. I think it’s safe to say that a majority of us would beg to differ. Whether it be a man or a woman we could all agree, society influences different portrayals of each gender. Given a different scale of expectations and regulations. Of these differences in expectations between the male in the female, one seems to trigger me with great frustration. The way in which the female gender must be on her greatest behavior at all times, watching every move she makes, every word she utters, every person she meets, even every article of clothing she decides to wear in the morning effects the way she is viewed upon by society.
Since well since the beginning of time females were given an image of maintaining class and etiquette. Embedded in their minds was the thought of reputation being the most precious possession they hold while still expected to cook, clean, and tend to the male needs. I say screw all that! As much as we like to believe it has changed. Really, it’s only budged a little. Yes, before a woman were to be shunned from society if she were found lounging at the city pub. Today, the only difference is that the woman has the choice of going to that club on a Saturday night but it is certain that she will be looked down upon, criticized for being there and for all of her actions that took place that night. Looked at differently from that day forward. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a person having a good time while still respecting themselves but the ultimate question that arises in my head is What about the male friend joining her that same night. Doing things unimaginable of a female ever attempting to do in public. Why isn’t he scorned and frowned upon for his actions?!

Mai Sedki

Back in the day, women were the house wives. Women duties: cook, clean, care for the kids, and do what was told. Women were treated as second class citizens. Millions of women actually died fighting for Women Rights. This was only a couple hundred years ago. I could not image not voting, going to school, learning, and working! Oh my god, I’d go crazy! Women have been striving, fighting and achieving since the dawn of time. WE, women have come a long way. Take a look at Susan B. Anthony the most powerful organizer of the women’s movement. She fought against slavery and human rights. Elizabeth Blackwell was the first women awarded a medical degree by a college or Pearl S. Buck, the first women to win a Noble Prize for Literature. To travel way back in time the strong and brave Cleopatra, queen of Egypt at 18 ruled an empire for years. Elizabeth I Queen of England united enemies and out witted her opponents. Frida Kahlo survived childhood polio and accidents to become one of the greatest artists’ of the 20^th century.

Oprah Winfrey, a sexually abused child, promiscuous teenager took her power back and became one of the most inspiring, enlightening, influential women of all time. J. K. Rowling, a welfare mom wrote a little book called Harry Pottery and become a billionaire over night.

Women are seeing, feeling , embracing the light. There are more self made millionaires, activists, business owners that are women than ever before. Women are raising families by themselves, working, and achieving success. Back in the day, many women would not and could not divorce their husbands because they had no way to survive. They did not have an education to fall back on or support. So they would stay in their physically and verbally abusive homes without an outlet.

 Finally women are saying “I don’t need you.” Women are going to college, graduating, working and starting independent lives. They don’t need a man to make it. Women are waiting to have children to build their careers, climbing the work ladder, and are bossing the boys around. I am so proud of women today. A great example of women achievers is my cousin Tanya. She is a single mom with four kids. She is looking to buy a home and by next spring will be officially be an RN. She turn her negative energy to turn it into a positive force. She’s already looking to buy a new home. She not going to feel sorry for herself and live her life in the past. She’s taking her power back and working towards a successful career and comfortable life. Heroes were mainly thought of as a male figure, well not anymore. Women are now the heroes, the sheroes. Women are thinking for themselves, making their own decisions, and setting their own goals. Nobody is going to tell us what to do. Ladies you don’t need that man to make you feel good. Trust me I love the boys, but true happiness in within. Nobody can make you, you! Lova ya girlys!

Julee M.

 Destiny’s Child ” Independent Women”

“…The shoes on my feet
I’ve bought it
The clothes I’m wearing
I’ve bought it
The rock I’m rockin’
I’ve bought it
‘Cause I depend on me
If I wanted the watch you’re wearin’
I’ll buy it
The house I live in
I’ve bought it
The car I’m driving
I’ve bought it
I depend on me.”

Gender differences in the present

                Although we have come a long way concerning equal rights for females and males, it is obvious that we are not finished yet. Same job for less pay still occurs in the United States and women in power are looked down on. Compared to what I have seen, these differences are very subtle. In this short essay I want to share with you my experiences of working in a Mosque.

                I no longer work there but about three years ago I got the job through a friend of mine and was there for about two years. This Mosque was primarily with Indian and Pakistan Muslims and they were very nice, for the most part. There was one big banquet room where they would have private parities or fundraising parties and my job was to serve the food and clean up. The thing that I found amazing was that the men and women would be in separate rooms. The big banquet rooms had a divider which split the room in two. The men would be on one side—the bigger one, and the women would be in the other. Keep in mind that it would be for the same party. The women would be covered up head to toe including their hair (especially their hair), and some even covered their face leaving just the eyes. The men obviously were dresses normal. Men were forbidden from the women’s side and I learned this the hard way. I had to deliver a big, hot tray of food to the women’s side and they all started screaming at me and covering their hair. Then their husbands bitched about me going in there. The women there are basically treated like property and they have to cover themselves so no other man can be turned on by them.

                One could argue that I am being racist against Muslims but that is not the case since I am Muslim myself. I found this amazing because these people live in America and it is 2008. Its not like those women are not educated because most of them are doctors or dentists. It is their tradition and in my opinion, these gender differences will not be settled anytime soon.  

Roland Bogdani

Katrina Brown

Gender Roles

               Society expects women and men to behave a certain way. Men are supposed to be the protector and provider while the woman is at home taking care of the kids. I agree with some aspects of these traditional roles of women and men then there are some aspects I don’t agree with.  I believe that a woman can take care of her children in a way that a man can not care for them. On the other hand a man can provide something for his children that a woman can’t provide. What I am trying to say is that care is not solely the woman’s responsibility that both parties need to be involved in child care and home duties. This theory comes from my parents. In my household both of my parents worked full-time jobs. Which meant that my dad sometimes cooked dinner, and picked my sister and me from school? The responsibilities did not just fall onto my mother they shared the responsibilities. Although my mom worked full time she did play into some of the traditional roles of a woman. Such as buying clothes for the family and making doctors appointments. Even though my mother did not fit the perfect mode of idyllic woman figure she still played into some the traditional roles of being a woman. As young woman I don’t see anything wrong with being feminine and affectionate. I personally like my shinny lip gloss and girly pink clothes.  I like for the guy to open the door for me and tell me I’m pretty. On the other hand I think there should be a balance between being girly and not fully buying into the traditional June Cleaver role. I think every woman has a purpose and it is not just being pretty and catered to. I believe every woman should strive to be their best and fulfilling their dreams.  Every woman has inner strength, and something that she can offer to make the world a better place. I strongly believe that God sent women gifts that should be used and not wasted because of society’s ideas of what a woman should be. My main point is that women should be girly and affectionate but don’t forget their strength and worth.

Eh, somebody had to do it. Besides, turning on Hip-Hop Nation and hearing Akon chant “I see you grindin’ up on that pole” really left me with no choice. And even if I hadn’t forced myself to sit through that, I’d already heard Lil Wayne’s new single “Lollipop”, where we get to hear Weezy explain his sex life ever so eloquently: “that pussy in my mouf had me loss for words.” Damn.

I’d like to start out by letting everyone know that I love hip-hop–in fact, I’ve been an over-the-top head ever since Nas rolled wit’ more kicks than a baby in a mother’s stomach. That was ‘94, which made me not even ten yet. This is what makes me so conflicted. I love women–sure, for the obvious, less-than-savory reasons I suppose (sorry, but I am a guy), but mostly because they are fellow human beings with feelings and thoughts and, most of all, souls. But this is not how rap tends to define them–certainly a line like “I see you grindin’ up on that pole” insinuates that the ideal use of women in society is directly linked to their bodies and not their minds, making them more so sex toys than real people. It frustrates me when the music I love (and will defend to the end) treats people I love like shit.

As anybody who listens to rap knows, objectification of women within the genre is nothing new–shitty rappers have been trying to disguise the fact that they have minimal mic skills by having half-naked ladies jiggle their asses in their vidoes for some time now. I don’t really have as certain an opinion on the whole thing as I’d like to–my main objection is a musical one, as it seems shallow rhymes about bitches and tricks has an adverse effect on my eardrums. Also, women should certainly do what they wish with their bodies–I’d never want to stand from a moral high ground yelling “respect yourself sister!” Women should never feel ashamed for being sexy, although I’d hope their reasons for being sexy would be for themselves and not solely for the sake of catching men’s attention. But still, the best kind of sexy (to me at least) is the empowering kind, and my respect goes out to Common, an incredible MC who makes it a point to let women be sexy while still imbuing them with their due humanity in his songs.

In addition to saying all that, I’d like to ask a relevant question– why is rap, like most mass forms of entertainment, ran by men, yet sold by women? What I mean is, the rappers in question cash their checks by showing off bodies that aren’t even there’s, even if they might act like they belong to them. I don’t have an answer, but I’m hoping somebody else might.

By the way, I apologize in advance to all Wayne fans for my opening comments. I know many people that love his style, but I am not one of them. Label me a hater, but I don’t have time for lollipop rhymes when a dude like Rakim is blastin’ through my speakers.

-Pat